10 whole years. Can you believe that? I have been here for 10 grueling years. Where, you say? Here in the land of oppurtunities and where dreams become reality. Yeah sure, you just have to give up almost everything to just keep up with expenses. They should also include with that saying, the land of credit cards. Bad credit, good credit and no credit we will still get you. Ha ha ha. I can not say that it has been all that bad but yet it has not been a trip to fairyland either. I guess I am in a position where I could say that hard work do pay off. It is just sad that for being here in that span of time I have only been able to go on vacation back to Philippines once in 1998. Hopefully I would go back again soon when things gets settled. Life has been a rollercoaster lately with the new addtion and subtraction in the family part ( ha ha ha ) and my new yet old condo. My dogs seems to adjust quicker than I could. Through out the years I have learned life's little secret. Life does not always go like planned. I am 28 years old now, I have always dreamt that at this time I have a house and a family with 2 kids, dont forget dogs. So far I have a condo and dogs. I guess its just not the right time. Depression is a household word for me now a days. That is one reason why I have not gotten used to being alone. All I could think of is the past which will not help my current situation. The present I could handle, the future I could face, the past I could not forget. There were more instances when I am down than the other way around. Regardless what has happened I still think that the moment I am happy something will occur that will pull me down. As you could see optimism is not a trait that I have.

I ponder the times I have wished for something
Though I know that I am only dreaming
Things that I hope I could attain
In reality I should not even complain

But yet happiness seems like a distant memory
Reminiscing the childhood days when I was worry free
Life is such a challenging and hard trip
Not knowing if at the end of the road there is a dip

Then again there will be you
Who will pick me up and guide me through
Fill me with hope and wanting to dream again
Anticipating what will happen then