Self Evaluation

I hate doing my annual self evaluation here at work. Really do you think that somebody would actually put that you have not met expectations and needs improvement? I don't think so especially when your annual raise depends on this review and on your boss's review on you. I do not see the need to fill one out when you have those annual one on one with your boss which they make you voice out any concerns you have work related of course. Though maybe it is a good way to market yourself since you could mention all the unnoticeable work you have done to be a good team player. But still I think people do notice if you are a good worker or not so I think it is wasted effort and time.

How do you know if somebody is worth it? How do you put a price on somebody’s future? Opportunities in a foreign land for people from 3rd world countries are so much but yet how to get it. As neglected as we are in our own country, we tend to think there would be no problems left as long as we get to USA. We forget or refuse to face the legal facts which are needed to be able to stay here. If marriage is the answer to fully take advantage of what this country offers, how will you ask somebody to actually be committed like that? Falling truly in love with somebody that will be the key for everything comes with people judging you if they found out that you don’t have legal status. Is it worth the worries when you have your own problems regarding the rest of the family you left back home who is depending on every penny that you make? When you are one of the lucky ones with proper paperwork would you take the risk of helping your countrymen and marry them to fix their status or will you turn your head the other way and hope you would not get noticed?

Do you know why people remain fat? Before I gained all this weight I always thought why some people remained fat despite their depression. Well since I am in that situation now I could honestly say it is because of people who would not even give them a chance. Let us just say that I have been slap with reality and been pulled back into my depression when somebody made a comment about me. It was not the normal fat jokes which I could handle it was more of a comment about what I think and have proof that I lost such weight is not what other people think or see. For short if I told them that I fit size 10 they would be saying that I lied. Which surprise me after they have just shared words of appreciation then they turn their back and talk shit about me. I normally would ignore and move on but after I was so happy to realize that I lost a little more this morning and to be crushed just like that I was not prepared for a come back. Someone has said worst stuff to me but I guess I did not take it that bad because it was expected unlike what I just experience has left me appalled.