Is it too late for Love?

There are movies that you encounter where you will never forget. I woke up today and decided - "Hmmm I would love to rewatch It's Complicated!". So I did. Being single for such a long time I have successfully avoided those awkward moments of oh crap you need a partner for this. But just because I have avoided them does not mean that I do not think about it every now and then. This movie has reminded me that love does not have an expiration date. It does not choose to happen only in your early years when you use to be able to wear a size 4. That is the beauty of this movie it shows you that love can happen at any moment and to anybody. I have always been guilty of having negative energy towards the concept of being with somebody but with reasons. My negative feelings in regards to love has been more of a habit that I have since my heart was broken. To avoid the thought of missing to have somebody I have turned into despising people with relationships. I hated people showing affection in public. Before I realize it my hatred and disgust about relationship is gone but yet I still react the same way. Crazy, huh! I find myself making excuses why I chose to be single such as there are too many risks, I hate to put the effort and it is just gonna be a burden. All this is true but yet it is also what makes a relationship stronger. The movie just reminded me that I have not been enjoying myself or let myself loose cause I was just too scared to even try. The thrill of not knowing what will happen if it does not work out scares the crap out of me. But what scares me more is depending so much on that person and later I loose myself. I am getting old but yet in means nothing cause I am still scared to love.

Purpose?

I get these moments where I think that I have not done my purpose in life. You may call it a phase but now a days I have found myself pondering this issue almost everyday. Looking back to all that has happened to me, I am not saying that I am not proud of myself, it is more of what else should I do? What can I do to feel satisfied or fulfilled in life? I have applied to all charity events that I encounter at work and at home with my family. But I still have the feeling of needing to do more, needing to share more of what I could offer. I better fish for ideas now or else this feeling will never end.